


Lost Ashes

by smlash



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Pre-Avengers: Endgame (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:14:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29674047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smlash/pseuds/smlash
Summary: Half of the universe is gone. The half that remains have trouble picking up the pieces.





	Lost Ashes

**Author's Note:**

> This was written before Endgame was released.

Tony Stark didn't know why he tolerated this kid. When he was younger, he wouldn't ever say he was responsible enough to babysit anyone. Let alone have children to take care of. But Peter was different. He wasn't his son, but Tony saw him as one.

He never meant to get so close to the Spider-Kid, but now the kid is one of the most important people in his life.

That's why Tony didn't want the kid to get dragged in the middle of the battlefield. He died in Tony's arms, his dust scattered far in space. He may have died even if he wasn't involved in the fight, but Tony still felt responsible for the death of his protégé.

Now Tony's alone. Doctor Strange, a man he began to grow close to and someone he considered an ally, is dead. So are those Guardians guys that he just met. His only companion is the particles of his dead allies and the daughter of Thanos.

* * *

“I'm sorry for your loss,” Nebula says.

Tony soberly looks down at his Iron Man mask. Is he still entitled to call himself a hero? What type of hero fails to save people? What type of hero lets half the universe die?

“It wasn't your fault. You don't need to apologize.”

Nebula grimaces a little. “I could've prevented this. If I disobeyed him earlier, back when he trusted me, I could've stopped him.”

Tony knew where she was coming from. He wanted to just blame her, make his problems easier on himself. But he can't. “You had no choice in what Thanos did. He raised you that way. He would've still acquired all the stones and snapped your fingers, even if you did interfere earlier.”

“I wish I could make it up to you. My father, _Thanos,_ took away the idiots I began to see as family.” Nebula's tone is laced with rage at the thought of her father. “For my whole life, he's manipulated my sister and I to be against each other, and now he took her away.”

There's a silence between the two of them. They were both lost. They both lost people they saw as family. They both watched them die in front of them, disintegrated into dust.

Tony begins to stray towards the people he's known on Earth. Is Pepper still alive? Is Happy? Rhodey?

He stops the thoughts from flooding his mind. He doesn't even know if he'll ever be able to return in the first place if he can't even focus on fixing the ship they'll use.

Nebula helps him. Somehow, they're still able to make progress. The ship the Guardians used to get to Titan was on and running again. Despite the fact that they can't heal their own broken parts.

* * *

Although at times he felt awkward being alone with her, Tony began to warm up to Nebula. She listened to his problems and he listened to hers. Each of them trying to reassure the other that they weren't at fault.

Unfortunately, the air supply was beginning to run low. So was the limited food supply and water they had that was leftover from the Guardians. Nebula kept offering Tony her share of food.

“It's better if you survived than me. I trust that you will find a way to stop Thanos and fix everything.” Nebula reasons.

Tony would always call bullshit on her. “I've failed more times than I can count. And I can't see someone else die because of me. If I'm going to get revenge on Thanos, you'll have to do it with me.”

But their determination on surviving through the ride back to Earth begins to dwindle. Tony begins to think that this is where his journey will end. Not as a hero, not as an avenger, but as a failure. He wishes he could trade his life for someone that could actually make a difference.

Each day, he loses more faith in his survival. He makes a message for anyone on Earth that ever finds this ship. He hopes it's Pepper, but for all he knows, Pepper is also dead. _Dust_.

* * *

Tony can't believe he's survived. The first order of business Tony has is to contact Pepper. Turns out she's alive, and so are Happy and Rhodey! After a month of hopelessness and despair, he's glad that his life isn't completely full with darkness.

Then he's overcome with guilt. Why is he allowed to have this moment of joy, when half the universe is dead? Things still haven't changed. Peter Parker, a bright and innocent child, was robbed of his life. Many lights were extinguished before their time was supposed to end.

He calls May to apologize for the loss of her nephew. When he dials her number, he's immediately told that her number has been disconnected from her phone service. She must be dead too then.

* * *

Steve is still alive. He's known for a while now that all the original Avengers survived. They seem to be cursed with outliving those they care about. Captain America and Iron Man settle their differences and apologize to one another. Tony wishes he's done this sooner, before they lost everything. This shouldn't be how they reconciled with one another. If only they handled their disagreements sooner. Maybe their relationship didn't get damaged in a universe where they talked out the Accords situation instead of resorting to violence.

"I'm glad you're alive, Tony.” Steve breathes. He grips onto Tony's shoulders, as if Tony would disappear if he doesn't. “You don't know how happy I am to see you again.”

“Me too.” Tony remembers a time where they used to be best friends. Where they could hold each other and trust they won't let the other fall. That trust is broken. They both know that the relationship they've built will never be the same as before.

Despite that, they still care about each other.

“How are you?” Tony asks.

“Fine. How about things on your side, how have you been?”

“Fine.”

There's a beat. They both are withholding information from each other, and they both know it. But they see the pain in each other's eyes. There's no malice behind their intentions.

“Just wanted to let you know that, you're still my friend, Tones.” Steve says tenderly. He slowly walks past Tony's personal space and hugs him.

Steve is soft. He's careful with his actions now, afraid he'll scare Tony away again. The hug lasts longer than they both expected it to. When they part, Steve sees tears start to form in Tony's eyes.

“Do you really mean that? After everything that's happened between the two of us?” Tony's voice is challenging. Steve remains strong despite this.

“Yes. I still thought about you, you know, when I was on the run. I now know why you were angry, and I forgive you. I'm sorry for my actions towards you. I'm sorry for not telling you about Bucky when I found out.”

“It's alright now. I understand. I overreacted. I'm sorry for being so upset with Bucky. It wasn't his fault that he pulled the trigger on my parents. I shouldn't have blamed him for actions that were out of his control. HYDRA was behind it all along. _They_ were the ones I should've taken my anger out on.” Tony replies. “Makes sense why you chose him over me.”

“I really cared about him. I've known him for a long time. He was the only part of my past that I had left. Bucky was the only person left who knew who I was before I took the super soldier serum. We always helped each other out of tough situations.” Steve says. “It's not that I have anything against you. It's just that, I really loved him.”

Silence is shared between them. Tony feels like leaving and tinkering with something. To let loose all of his nerves.

“Bucky's dead.”

There's no reply. Steve stares Tony in the eyes.

“Bucky's dead. It's all my fault. I should've been stronger. I should've been able to beat Thanos.” His breath hitches a little. “I watched him die in front of me.”

“I'm sorry.” Tony says quietly.

“I know that Sam is dead too. I didn't see him die, but he disappeared. He should be back by now, if he wasn't. Wanda is too. So is Vision, Black Panther, and this tree I met.”

“I'm sorry.”

“They're all gone! I could have saved them! It's all my fault!” Steve yells hysterically.

Tony grips the other man’s shoulders firmly. “Hey, look at me.”

Steve’s eyes meet Tony’s. “I’m sorry, I overacted.” He fixes his composure and has a somber expression on his face. “There’s nothing any of us could’ve done to save them.” 

“You’re right. None of this was your fault. I was there when it happened, and I blew it.” Tony says. “The best thing we could do is try to live on for them.”

**Author's Note:**

> Although I knew that the characters who were Thanos snapped would obviously come back since I read Marvel comics, the characters in the MCU think they're dead since it's a fresh wound to them.


End file.
